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Literature
alive
i dont wanna be loved
just held and fucked
and left to my own ocean
i feel a disconnect
if connected to long
like milk thats sat out to long
there seems to always be
a expiration date
and ive seen enough
to know better
then to sit and wait
ill enjoy the good
and then i guess ill move on
i dont see a reason to get
bored with another
its more exciting to keep it moving
only taking a breathe here and there
love has no plan for me
so ill just enjoy the fruits of its labor
never thinking to hard on one or
the other
we all want pleasure
and im not the only one
not a slut
just tired of lonely nights
that perspire over into the day
i just wanna feel alive
:iconAngelfallen89:Angelfallen89
:iconangelfallen89:Angelfallen89 0 0
Literature
the fear
not sure where to start
its ok though
time to move on
refuse to hang on by
pins and needles
growing up
and throwing my own farewell
party
getting a hold of me
dont know why
i was so scared
to be alone
i thrive on it now
but maybe thats bad
maybe i'll never be comfortable again
with another
or maybe its good i've let
myself become this numb
i am sickened to see people in love to just be in love
not really knowing anything about
the other just so scared to be alone
foolish love
that never lasts
stupid and ego filled
nothing more then a statement piece to
each other
some kind of common ground
to have with others with such like minds
well you can stay
in your like mindedness
so wrapped in hypocrisies
and lies
and its fine
ill hold on to my sanity
ill wait it out
and if it comes ill be fine
and if it doesn't the sun will still shine
and ill move on
with a smile on my face
knowing i never gave in
to someone i had nothing in common with just
to fit in with society's
norms
i see you look my wa
:iconAngelfallen89:Angelfallen89
:iconangelfallen89:Angelfallen89 0 0
Literature
unlimited
i've been planning things for years
trying hard to stay on track
do the right things to get where i wanna be
but i'm not and though i haven't given up
i realize that things won't go the way they're suppose
to
rational
is irrational for me
and all the people in my ear
telling me how to do it
dont make any sense to me
they dont grasp it like i do
and even if i did understand where
they were coming from
i don't think id agree
i get theres a paved way
a solid foundation
for things
that can make it easier
to get to where it is you want to go
but i do not think its the only way
new ways are being laid down everyday
that work just as well
we just never saw it that way
so never thought of it that way
which led us to think there's only one solid way
but there are so many things we've done through the years for a long time
that now
have even better more efficient ways because
of more efficient thinkers
that everyone thought were insane intell they proved
themselves
and that is what i want to be
:iconAngelfallen89:Angelfallen89
:iconangelfallen89:Angelfallen89 0 0
Literature
take a bite
i could steal you away from her
i know shes no good
but i just want something fun full of love and
let it end when it end
so will that be ok
i dont think your looking for soul mates
right now
and i sold my soul
to be me
so where do we begin
can we just have fun
and see where this ends
im game if your in
last night when
things began my heart was beating
out of my chest
and i was waiting for you
to just come hold me
just to feel the rush
i think i just like the rush the chase
the middle but i hate the end
and the middle where the end begins
so ill wait to see what conspires the nights to come
and i wont avoid you or this
i think its interesting
youve fallen out of love now you just wanna taste the scenery
and i can dig that
if you dig me too
im here for your entertainment
tell im not
so take a bite
well im in this time
:iconAngelfallen89:Angelfallen89
:iconangelfallen89:Angelfallen89 1 0
Literature
a rant for the ages
not sure why
i'm here
not sure why you keep coming back to me
or is it me
revolving around  us
and i get so high
when i think of what was
and then i come
crashing to the ground
when we were togather
pushing side by side
i just hurt
and i couldn't feel the way i so badly
needed to
i couldn't hold onto my mind
the thought of losing you at the time
was insane
and i'm so
lost on words
and how i truly feel anymore
my parents came to visit
and the feelings they brought
were like an old familiar friend
it brought me to want
to cry
but i stayed strong
because if i came
crashing down
id never fly again
i could feel my inner child
pleading
to go back
to a place with magic
and mayhem
chocking on the emotions
i try to swallow
losing sleep
over pointless
thoughts
begining to wake more and more each
day
i have no need for the grime
that stand in lines
and wait
im not for that life
we live in such a lie
and no one is willing to stand up
and point out that this
society is a lie
all we hold valid
:iconAngelfallen89:Angelfallen89
:iconangelfallen89:Angelfallen89 0 0
Literature
hey.......
hey ..........
i know it's been a long time
and hey i know you use to be mine
i know i wasn't perfect and i lost you
and i'm sorry
i never know where we stand
maybe its better you run far from me
i miss you everyday
i just never knew if you could ever love me
and i couldn't stand the pins and needles
in my veins
i want you to know  of course i still love you
and of course i miss you
its hard though you know
you like to toy and play in things i didn't understand
i dont like to the chase
i wanna know ive got you
i dont want to have to wonder
and i guess its my fault too when we invited another
though it was fun
it was justa  sign of the times
it hurts looking back now
not just looking at you and me i suppose
but the person i use to be
and though you tell me youve changed i couldn't see it
and i hope your fine
still breathing still writing songs
still listening to lana del rey and still pinning for a better future
i know you must be angry with me
im angry with me too
i didnt kno
:iconAngelfallen89:Angelfallen89
:iconangelfallen89:Angelfallen89 1 0
Literature
be better do better
im at an odds with myself
but more with others
we treat each other so bad
we lie about everything
we dont know what it means to be a friend
we lose ourselves in electronic things
we have lost our humanity
we believe in religion that cannot be true
for if god were such a merciful being
why then is there starving baby's
death and overall wreckage
such a wonderful being wouldn't let whole nations starve
although he did flood the world
he sounds petty and i dont want to praise something
so narcissistic and cruel
i could pick someone down here to praise just off the street
and some of us have we've picked people to idolize and pine after
although there just like everyone else
and i use to think i wanted that
to be one of the shiny ones
but i realize i just want to entertain
and be loved by ones
who really know me
not ones who theorize
who they think i am and who they think ill be
and where i go
to me that seems it would be annoying
more than anything
life is short and we dont know what s af
:iconAngelfallen89:Angelfallen89
:iconangelfallen89:Angelfallen89 2 0
Literature
make me feels something
haven't wrote anything
in a while
because i feel i lose my potencie
if i say something everyday
and everyone's always talking and i feel we could
use some silence sometimes
theres a self importance i think we have all grasped
and i'm not sure where it came from maybe
we've always had it but
it grew over time
more acceptable to pride it
and i have been there to
and probably still am
but i have an open eye
in certain things
and i see where we are all heading
and we have to be open to change
and to make peace
with what
we cannot understand
but to never keep trying
to find all the reasons
and i know i may sound like
im talking in circles
but i just want the universe to be at peace and
for all of us to be happy
but i myself
am not happy
constantly fighting with myself
so cut throat
and i've gone over things in my mind a thousand times
i've wrote it all down
even knowing my grammars not fine
but i wish so much i could just sit
and dwell on the past
i have nostalgia
like its out of style
and
:iconAngelfallen89:Angelfallen89
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Literature
new chance
did i find you in a dream
i feel i've met you
and you seem so sweet
so pure
and i can't even begin
to understand where your kind come from
me bitter at the world as you
hold onto a beautiful smile
and i lose my soul in your eyes
and i flow through the breath you breathe
through the lit end of your cigarette
the smell so soothing and i begin to feel at peace
for the first time in a long time
i wanna touch you but i'm afraid your off limits
and i watch you
ive met others like you
they always intrigue me too
but you capture something new
maybe its because your new
maybe its just because you're you
i feel free when i'm with you clique as it sounds
i wont push i won't pry
i wont hold you to anything
i've done that before i just lose
my faith
your eyes tell so much
and i hear you
i feel your gaze
when you walk by
do you feel it too
i see the way you look and  i dont need no sympathy
i just want your love
and thats all honey
but i can't beat what you like
i'm not them  
and i could
:iconAngelfallen89:Angelfallen89
:iconangelfallen89:Angelfallen89 1 0
Literature
disengaged
i must of got it wrong
and i die each time
i realize that there are so many
wrong turns i've made
so many wrong words
ive sad and i can't take it back
so sorry
if i was wrong
so sorry im gone
im only human
with drawing
my blood
from my veins
feeling evil and betrayed
with each step
each breath
and i'm coming
undone feeling i've been thrown in something black and white
when my mind is an unended
technicolor world
here i am just me
no mask
no lies
do you still care
am i lost without you
no but i do care
and i've been here
a place so dull only a break of sanity can save us now
people disappoint me
and are disingenuous
making favors
then never let you know
so ill stroll on
and keep going on this journey
so many fake faces
only keeping the real ones around
no one that drains the colors
whos so dull and vein
that doesn't impress
someone with an open mind and time to spare
are where my dreams shine
users and fakers
never get far without being caught
and i have such strong senses
when it comes
:iconAngelfallen89:Angelfallen89
:iconangelfallen89:Angelfallen89 1 0
Literature
my own skin again
heart beats out of chest
i guess i'm stressed
just to meet a stranger a new friend
why though
why should i be afraid
of something new
i promised myself at a very
young age
to face down
my fears
and to hold the things i
find to be true
to me
and i get lost
in the here and now
and sometimes
i'm very afraid
and i dunno
we talked and you feel ok
but theres a fear of death
and a fear of life
do i need a pill
to feel better
do i need a pill to make me face life
i will pull and push
just to be happy
unmedicated
and unafraid
tired of weighing
in when it feels so wrong
but i know ill be alright
and i think its time
to face the truth
and be brave again
just so i can be ok
in my own skin again
time to go out
and be me again
:iconAngelfallen89:Angelfallen89
:iconangelfallen89:Angelfallen89 1 0
Literature
At home
if i lose my courage
please shoot me down
for i will no longer
be a happy being
i want to continue
to do things that scare
me intell i get comfortable with them
i want to fly above the clouds
knowing theres nowhere
to land
and to keep searching
never giving up
and to keep going
i want people to never really know me
and i'm convinced
they dont anyway
i cant be happy knowing
that ill stay the same
i never want  
something unless
its got variety
to show
at the door
i wanna see it up front and personal
its time we let go of all our baggage
and be brave
grow a little
show a little
right now everyone's
so fake
and id rather die than stay somewhere
so faded
so jaded
and if you're just like them
then i have no intrest
in you
i cant connect
in something so vain
i crave
adventure
all the time
and i want life
to be more than one big ongoing fight
i refuse to live the brainwashed life
i think i've always been stuck in my past
especially
the childhood me
i was so happy then
all the imagination
:iconAngelfallen89:Angelfallen89
:iconangelfallen89:Angelfallen89 1 0
Literature
life goes on when your not there
if there was a secret
i could not let out
if i could do more then just open doors
would you still understand
if i was more real than
you
could you deal
with your dreary
existence
what if i see the world the way it really is
and you only see it how you
would like to
what if the gold flecks in your eyes
are worth more than what you wear
on your wrist
what if i can let you know
without ever letting you know
because i feel things
you cant comprehend
i see the world and the ones beside it
we are one minute and a little to the left of another new
universe but we'll never get there
not in the here and now
but i should warn you
its a doozie
and you dont even know
open your eyes open your mind
you are so behind
there is more then you see
and more then you hear
life goes on when your not there
:iconAngelfallen89:Angelfallen89
:iconangelfallen89:Angelfallen89 2 0
Literature
take the thorn out of your eyes
people are so hateful
for no reason
at least not the reasons that matter
i think dumb people are angry
with no disregard
for humanity
you want to start a fight
it would thrill you
woudnt it
your an evil soul
you have no remorse
and people like you ought to be locked away
where you can all be locked togather
angry at the world
with each other
there is no reason for your rude tones
and your demeaning
personality
you are the reason you are so unhappy
and you are the only one who can fix it
dont blame others for how you see the world
through your hate rays
just waiting for anything to set you off
having no prior knowledge
of anyone but yourself
its none of your business
how many times i dye my hair
or if i'm tired
or what gender i prefer
to see myself as
take the stick out of your as and open your mind
:iconAngelfallen89:Angelfallen89
:iconangelfallen89:Angelfallen89 0 0
Literature
mankind
we should down our weapons
we should learn to love
it is a process
we must relearn everyday
we have been fitted with
different brands of hate
but we need to let that go
and we need to move forward
with peace
in our hearts
and mind
theres to much waste in our minds
and to much filth
in our hearts
we are a plague unto
ourselves
and we need to go way back
and we have to rewrite our
genetic history
and manufacture
a version of ourselves much better
then the one we are currently today
time must be irrelevant
in order for us to be better
and do more for our man kind
:iconAngelfallen89:Angelfallen89
:iconangelfallen89:Angelfallen89 0 0
Literature
permanent bruise
im on fire
and it rings true
i feel im bruised
perpetually
in my mind
theres a sore spot
in my head
a head game ill always lose
dont know why i beat me down
so easy to forget
tell surfaces are hit
then i break back down
and become the ugly monster
you knew
i cant be held in contempt
because i know they see
and i know there hands will always win
i feel the triggers inside
dont know why they rise
but i can break
at the sound
and im losing it
surly i will bend tell i break
i feel its constant compromising
and i cant give into the game
dunno where its taking me
or whats the purpose it holds
just a  desire that i wish i could lose
its a rush i feel untouched
but its like a prison
i could win
but id go insane
and i'm deathly afraid
of the waters
the peruse
below
where all the rocky ledges
go and break now
if i fall
or let go
it'll end much worse
then what i thought
and ill be permanently bruised
for you
so why do i constantly push my self to the ledge
of things id really rather not desi
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:iconangelfallen89:Angelfallen89 1 0

Favourites

linda  by williamjohnfinnegan linda :iconwilliamjohnfinnegan:williamjohnfinnegan 1 0 Bloosum  by williamjohnfinnegan Bloosum :iconwilliamjohnfinnegan:williamjohnfinnegan 1 0 Pocahontas by KiraHeart1 Pocahontas :iconkiraheart1:KiraHeart1 2 0 Sylvie sunset portrait by zikizek Sylvie sunset portrait :iconzikizek:zikizek 2 0 2doc [Collab n.n] by Mayu-Kureiji 2doc [Collab n.n] :iconmayu-kureiji:Mayu-Kureiji 35 13 The Slightest Of Smiles by QuarterOfADollar The Slightest Of Smiles :iconquarterofadollar:QuarterOfADollar 12 10 Alex by Marchell-Finch Alex :iconmarchell-finch:Marchell-Finch 120 24 Limbs by VOXART9
Mature content
Limbs :iconvoxart9:VOXART9 2 0
Spooky Snow by Parrofinch
Mature content
Spooky Snow :iconparrofinch:Parrofinch 21 2
22 Jurassic Journey Exhibit IMG 1899 by WDWParksGal-Stock 22 Jurassic Journey Exhibit IMG 1899 :iconwdwparksgal-stock:WDWParksGal-Stock 1 0 trio by gutyerrez trio :icongutyerrez:gutyerrez 95 7 This World Is Coming To An End by vishstudio This World Is Coming To An End :iconvishstudio:vishstudio 98 2 ... by statutorymonkey
Mature content
... :iconstatutorymonkey:statutorymonkey 9 1
Grand Canyon Ravens by Flyingkangaroos Grand Canyon Ravens :iconflyingkangaroos:Flyingkangaroos 3 0
Literature
Find Me Rotting
my misshapen spine
and yellow-belly
are me just
reaping what i sow
do i want it
no
do i believe in it
no
i am compelled
to care for love
to find a love
i know nothing of
and if you come
in search of me
you will find me rotting
six feet below
how can i forgive
when this is where you put me
you carved yourself a dreg
and i gladly worship it
i carry it's head on a stick
and pray to the heavens
to just take me away now
i gave myself to the night
do i believe in it
no
do i need it
no
am i compelled to care
or is this some
primal instinct
that i can't fight
:iconroyalocean:royalocean
:iconroyalocean:royalocean 2 0
Literature
What Love Is
you've been crawling in my skin
and you keep me stoic
and detached
and i think i love you for that
if this is love
hold me down
beneath the water
and let me drown
i want to tell you that
i surely don't give damn
if this is love
hold me down
i can not tell you
because i'm sure as hell
scared of what's to come
am i even feeling anything
it's all cold down here
and i'm frozen to the core
abandon all hope here
because you don't belong to me
:iconroyalocean:royalocean
:iconroyalocean:royalocean 2 0

Activity


i dont wanna be loved
just held and fucked
and left to my own ocean
i feel a disconnect
if connected to long
like milk thats sat out to long

there seems to always be
a expiration date
and ive seen enough
to know better
then to sit and wait

ill enjoy the good
and then i guess ill move on
i dont see a reason to get
bored with another
its more exciting to keep it moving
only taking a breathe here and there

love has no plan for me
so ill just enjoy the fruits of its labor
never thinking to hard on one or
the other
we all want pleasure
and im not the only one

not a slut
just tired of lonely nights
that perspire over into the day
i just wanna feel alive
not sure where to start
its ok though
time to move on
refuse to hang on by
pins and needles

growing up
and throwing my own farewell
party
getting a hold of me
dont know why
i was so scared
to be alone

i thrive on it now
but maybe thats bad
maybe i'll never be comfortable again
with another
or maybe its good i've let
myself become this numb

i am sickened to see people in love to just be in love
not really knowing anything about
the other just so scared to be alone
foolish love
that never lasts
stupid and ego filled

nothing more then a statement piece to
each other
some kind of common ground
to have with others with such like minds

well you can stay
in your like mindedness
so wrapped in hypocrisies
and lies
and its fine

ill hold on to my sanity
ill wait it out
and if it comes ill be fine
and if it doesn't the sun will still shine
and ill move on

with a smile on my face
knowing i never gave in
to someone i had nothing in common with just
to fit in with society's
norms

i see you look my way with intrigue
but its just a glance
to afraid
to ever take that leap
to being alone and facing your fear
and getting to know who you are
and being safe there

im no longer afraid of things that
made me so desperate years before
ill embrace the me in me
i've been planning things for years
trying hard to stay on track
do the right things to get where i wanna be
but i'm not and though i haven't given up
i realize that things won't go the way they're suppose
to

rational
is irrational for me
and all the people in my ear
telling me how to do it
dont make any sense to me
they dont grasp it like i do

and even if i did understand where
they were coming from
i don't think id agree
i get theres a paved way
a solid foundation
for things
that can make it easier

to get to where it is you want to go
but i do not think its the only way
new ways are being laid down everyday
that work just as well
we just never saw it that way
so never thought of it that way

which led us to think there's only one solid way
but there are so many things we've done through the years for a long time
that now
have even better more efficient ways because
of more efficient thinkers
that everyone thought were insane intell they proved
themselves
and that is what i want to be

i want to be the person who made others go
oh my god
that could've been done easier
and been less stressful

now i'm not saying it's
going to be quicker
or more for your soul

i'm just saying
there isn't only one way
there isn't just black and white
there unlimited colors

and people are never what they initially seem
theres more depth to most that stays forever hidden
intell the right one comes along and awakens these things
inside of them

to make them deal with things untouched
yet needing attention to
help their soul grow
i wanna be this person to awaken things in others they
never thought before
i want to be that thing everyone sees a light in

and there not sure why it's so bright or
what it even means
just that it's  intriguing interest

thats what my soul desires
and what i shall try to be my whole life long
i could steal you away from her
i know shes no good
but i just want something fun full of love and
let it end when it end
so will that be ok
i dont think your looking for soul mates
right now

and i sold my soul
to be me
so where do we begin
can we just have fun
and see where this ends
im game if your in

last night when
things began my heart was beating
out of my chest
and i was waiting for you
to just come hold me
just to feel the rush

i think i just like the rush the chase
the middle but i hate the end
and the middle where the end begins

so ill wait to see what conspires the nights to come
and i wont avoid you or this
i think its interesting
youve fallen out of love now you just wanna taste the scenery
and i can dig that
if you dig me too
im here for your entertainment

tell im not
so take a bite
well im in this time
not sure why
i'm here
not sure why you keep coming back to me
or is it me
revolving around  us
and i get so high
when i think of what was
and then i come
crashing to the ground

when we were togather
pushing side by side
i just hurt
and i couldn't feel the way i so badly
needed to
i couldn't hold onto my mind
the thought of losing you at the time
was insane
and i'm so
lost on words

and how i truly feel anymore
my parents came to visit
and the feelings they brought
were like an old familiar friend
it brought me to want
to cry
but i stayed strong

because if i came
crashing down
id never fly again
i could feel my inner child
pleading
to go back

to a place with magic
and mayhem
chocking on the emotions
i try to swallow
losing sleep
over pointless
thoughts

begining to wake more and more each
day
i have no need for the grime
that stand in lines
and wait
im not for that life

we live in such a lie
and no one is willing to stand up
and point out that this
society is a lie
all we hold valid
is invalid
in the big picture of our soul
snap out of the lime light
wake up before you die
with nothing left to show

but a house and land
a child and a wife
be bigger
be bolder
be better

Pride

I AM PROUD

Made with pride by the DeviantArt community

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Angelfallen89
Harlo jones
Artist | Hobbyist | Other
United States
was born and raised in Indiana. love documenting my life my friends any way i can cause i find life to be just full of bliss and creativity thank you everyone who watches and supports youll never know how much it means to me

Current Residence: rents
Favourite genre of music: emo techno
Favourite photographer: dunno
Favourite style of art: any
Interests
my first book is up chalked full with my poems please go check it out and if you do pick it up let me know how you liked it www.amazon.com/dp/1520965494

Comments


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:iconrennc:
rennc Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2017  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you for the fave ✨
Reply
:icononyx-philomel:
Onyx-Philomel Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2017  Hobbyist Photographer

Thank you for your appreciation.

The Spectator by Onyx-Philomel

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:iconcanankk:
Canankk Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2017
Thank you for the fav Small Heart Bullet (Pink) - F2U! Small Heart Bullet (Pink) - F2U! Small Heart Bullet (Pink) - F2U! 
Reply
:iconangelfallen89:
Angelfallen89 Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
no problem
Reply
:iconroyalocean:
royalocean Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2017  Professional Writer
Thank you for the favorites!
Reply
:iconadrianamusettidavila:
adrianamusettidavila Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2017  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you for the+fav  NORMA ROJAS by adrianamusettidavila  ;) (Wink) :) (Smile) 
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:iconangelfallen89:
Angelfallen89 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
of course 
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:icongiusynuno:
giusynuno Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2017  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you so much for faving!! It means the world to me:heart:
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:iconjant-photo:
jant-photo Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2017
Thanks for faving. :-)

Das Gesicht Im Wasser by jant-photo  
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:iconangelfallen89:
Angelfallen89 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
no prob 
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